Bev's Happy Owls

Byron Katie

Byron Katie is an incredible lady, quite deep but fascinating to me, I'd like to share a little bit of her with you here, if you enjoy it, check out her website www.thework.com her stuff is really interesting.

Words of wisdom from Byron Katie.

If you want to get rid of something you must first allow it to flourish.

I have come to see that there is no such thing as criticism, there are only observations and there is no observation that does not enlighten me if my mind is open to it. What could anyone say to me that I couldn’t agree with? If someone tells me I’m a terrible person, I go inside myself and in two seconds I can find where in my life I’ve been a terrible person, it doesn’t take much searching and if someone says I’m a wonderful person I can easily find that too. This is about self-realisation, not about right or wrong, it’s about freedom. When someone tells me that I lied for example, I go inside to see if they’re right. If I can’t find it in the situation they’ve mentioned I can easily find it in some other situation maybe decades ago. I don’t say that out loud but inside me it’s adjoining so then I can say, “I am a liar, I see where you’re right about me, we agree.” That person is realising who I used to be the very thing I began realising twenty years ago. I fall in love with people who are angry at me.

What you think of me is none of my business

What other people’s opinions mean in life boils down to understanding that other people's opinions are just that - And that’s very important

Another person’s opinion is not truth; at least it’s not your truth

It’s not necessarily reality

It’s not necessarily the best

It’s not necessarily anything

It is somebody else’s opinion

Opinions are of very little value, it’s only your commitments, it's what you do with your opinion that makes all the difference in the world, not what your opinion is about something. And so what I have learnt to do with other people's opinions, is first of all to see them as their opinions which means that they can’t hurt me, they can’t destroy me, they can’t make me into anything less than I am as a human being. They simply are other people’s opinions. Now I’ve established for myself that my reputation is a meaningless concept, everybody’s reputation is a meaningless concept because if you go out whoever you are whether you’re a businessman, whether you’re a student, whether you’re a parent, whether you’re all of those things and you go out into the world and you do something – let's say I go out in front of a thousand people and I speak, there are a thousand opinions that are all unique and different from each other and I don’t know what any of them are and that’s what constitutes my reputation, my reputation is located in other people's opinions because that’s what a reputation is.

So I don’t care about my reputation, I’m not interested in it at all because I have no control over it. NONE whatsoever. What other people think of me is where they are. Whatever I do whatever level I’m doing it at, if I’m in a meeting or just with a friend of mine having lunch. What other people think of me is just that.

Terry Cole Whittaker wrote a book called “What you think of me is none of my business” a great title for any book!

It’s none of my business, so my reputation, since its located in other people exclusively is something that I have no control over. I mean I’ve done many meetings and had thousands of members and I can be doing a meeting and tell a joke, a silly little joke that just came out and I can have comments from members saying, “that was so funny” or “that really made me laugh”, and then I can have comments from other members saying “how dare you joke about such a thing”, “I didn’t find that joke appropriate at all” and I understand that all of those things are my reputation and they’re all different and none of them have anything to do with me, I was just telling a joke, I don’t know where you are, so I’ve learnt not to be concerned with my reputation but instead to be concerned with my character and that I’m in charge of. I’m always in charge of that, I can never be in charge of how other people perceive me because that’s their opinion and they’re all entitled to it.

I have members who tell me I’m the best leader ever and I have members who within joining my meeting transfer because they don’t think I’m any good and do you know what I’d say to both of them – “you may be right”, not I am right and your wrong, or ones right and the others wrong but “you may be right”.

It just shows you how silly it is to go around being consumed by what other people think – what other people think is just that.